In my many years critiquing fashion trends of the rich, famous and otherwise, it has been a long and hard quest to find a woman who embodies the virtues of sartorial taste and restraint.
Since the thrift shop mentality began pervading bourgeois fashion sensibilities, we have had a long string of red carpet beauties that seem to mistake a sheep-like mentality, wearing hideous monochromes.
And no one has even been daring enough to sample such tasty and supple fabrics as velour or rayon. Additionally, where are the hats?
These are all qualms I have with such metamodern sensibilities as are being purported by the fashion world hierarchy at this juncture in our cultural history.
However, there is a savior at the end of the long dark tunnel in which we have endured too many days, nights and afternoons. She recalls the gorgeous style of 18th century English parliament members with her powdered wigs and sumptuous, flowing gowns; she overemphasizes eye shadow; and she wears what she doesn’t eat. She is Lady Gaga, and she made the unprecedented move of utilizing meat as a gorgeous, boutique/butcher worthy dress.
What this means for fashion can only be described in terms of Puritan morality. She understands her place in the world and dresses accordingly.
The ruffles that cleverly conceal her bust stand in sharp contrast with other, far more scandalous necklines that over-exaggerate ample bosoms worn by women around the country to all sorts of polite social occasions. Even church! My outrage cannot be contained.
The Pilgrims would be shocked and appalled by what has become of their landing on Plymouth Rock.
To continue, Ms. Gaga also utilizes every color God gave us in her hair, and more needs to be said about her donning fingerless gloves with outfits that honor every animal present in the creation story. Tigers, bears and ferrets are always present on her physique in a way that Mother Theresa would bless as humble and honorable and pious, to say the least.
And what of her wearing claws? Saint Augustine once said that a simple life was one lived with all of our claws out praising the stars in a tasteful way.
Perhaps this is making little sense; the truth rarely does when it is first revealed. Did Jesus make sense at first? Did John F. Kennedy? How about Paris Hilton? No, not at first. But eventually they revealed themselves to be harbingers of truth and all that is good and correct, and ethical in the world.
Ms. Gaga follows as part of this tradition, but she also defines it in the long run by being a darn snappy dresser in a way Mr. Kennedy and Jesus can’t hold a candle to. Mr. Reagan is another matter entirely.