BIG NAME to visit Augie theatre

KITELANE KIDNEY

therealcosette@hotmail.com

Augustana College Theatre Company will be hosting a surprise guest next year to perform one night and one night only.

The obvious selection for next year’s musical production is Les Misérables. The show is so popular now that every college and its grandmother is producing it, or will be in their upcoming season.

So, who will the guest actor be?

A) Anne Hathaway

B) Russell Crowe

C) Aaron Tveit

D) Wolverine

One of these four actors has agreed to act during the Saturday matinee next winter.

A Facebook message was sent to all four stars in attempt to identify the mystery actor, but none replied.

Although there is not much information as to whom will be visiting the college, there are a few facts known on Augustana’s end.

This mystery actor will perform their role with student performers at Augustana, as well as work with student designers because Les Misérables is a completely student-designed show.

The performance will take place on the Edith Mortenson Center’s mainstage in February of 2014, and a signing will follow with the guest actor in the Mary Harum Hart Acting Studio, just next door.

Sophomore Jenna Hyde, her eyes flickering flames behind her glasses, vowed that she would do anything to be a part of next year’s musical. “Aaron Tveit is mine,” she said, if he is the actor visiting.

This possessiveness has also been sparked for potential visitor Wolverine.

Director of the show, Jayna Fitzsimmons, holds a special place in her heart for him, just as many girls hold a special place on their wall or laptop screens for the actor, often with his shirt off.

Girls are not the only ones excited about the surprise guest. When announced to the theatre department, there was a flurry of imaginary Wolverine claws exposed and battle cries called by the guys.

A few of the men were giddy about the prospect of Anne Hathaway coming.

“Yeah, she’s pretty hot,” freshman Jeff Larsen said.

Crowe garnered averted gazes from many of the more musically trained theatre folk.

When asked how the department managed to acquire a visit from such a popular movie star, RJ Fitzsimmons, the department chair, said, “What can I say? I know a guy.” He would not comment further on the matter.

Clearly, many are excited by this mystery guest. Students can’t wait to watch and, in some cases, act alongside the mystery actor.

Tickets will go on sale soon. And, if everyone buys enough tickets ahead of time, maybe the theatre will be able to sponsor a second big actor who can perform in two shows.

We can dream a dream.

Big Names